The sun's been gone for a bit too long here. Most wish for a white christmas, and I guess whoever it is that listens to wishes, misunderstood - because they gave us a WET christmas instead. Although I do thank them for trying, my goodness I was disappointed!

I've been longing for the sun, and that got me thinking:
I know it has to do with chemical reactions and all that scientific stuff, but doesn't it strike you funny that the sun makes your skin darker but pretty much everything else lighter?

Just like a lot of people - I've been on a blogging hiatus for a while, and I apologize! Things get so hectic during the holidays, what with gift shopping/wrapping, get togethers, christmas concerts and other such things. Seeing as I am still swamped, I wanted to wish everyone a magnificent christmas/hannukah/whatever else it is that you may celebrate and a very happy new year!

Joyeux Noel! / Feliz Navidad! / Merry Christmas!

xox

Cassie's Therapy Video Tag

Catherine tagged me to do this :)

I don't know who's done this and who hasn't (Although i'm sure it's gone around a lot... :S )
So I will just tag:

Laura Marie because her blog is about "little things" and this tag is easy to fill with the little (yet wonderful) things.
Natalie because I think she needs something to blog about right about now, after reading her latest post.
And Some Girl because she always has something interesting to say.

Basically, you fill in whatever isn't bold, then link back to whoever tagged you, and tag three others!

Abracadabra, Wow!

I like boys like him and girls I can really talk to
I like the adrenaline rush that comes when taking a picutre with film.
I like dipping my soft gingerbread cookies in hot chocolate.
I like costumes and costumey things
I like big knit sweaters for winter time.
I like being cozy, and cuddling up.
I love it when words come together eloquently to create something meaningful
Today my mood has been SO up and down.
In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate
I hate waiting for the bus that never comes (especially in the cold Canadian winters)
I hate being left behind.
I hate it when people don't see you smile at them, so they don't smile back and you feel awkward.
I hate itchy wigs
I hate being pushed past my limits
I hate it when I am late.
I hate it when I'm upset and no one understands why.
I hate losing eyelashes. I feel like my eyes are going bald every time I lose one - 'cept not really.
I hate this, wow. . .Sorry.

Tiny bits of nothing
Slip through the crevices of my fingers.
I suppose if catching them were easier,
Happiness would be the norm.
Tears of failure would be a thing of the past,
A thing of myths and children’s stories;
Shoved away with all the fairies and sprites.
Though I can’t help but wish
That I could tie the ends together.
They are too petite,
too delicate to twist the right way.
And so they remain,
The loose ends are inevitably there,
Simply there,
Patiently awaiting your next attempt,
To finally make things right.

--

I've been reluctant to post some of my ACTUAL poetry on here, due to the whole "you can never trust the internet" stuff. So, to ease my mind im just going to throw it out there that this poem is one hundred percent copyrighted to me, Katia E, December 9th 2009.

:)

If we don't smile.

"I hate that," she said.
"I don't mind it," I replied.

"I love this," I said.

"I can't stand it," she replied.

"I guess that's the difference between you and I."

The difference.

It's like black versus white,

a contrast so simple yet so deep

it's not something I can look past,

not something she can look past either.

She can't look past anything,

I try to tell her, to let her know

that if we don't smile,

we've got nothing left.

But apparently,

she would settle for nothing.

-

One of the things I hate most , is those who don't smile. Those negative many who focus on things they hate, rather than things they love. Those people who will let little things bug them, rather than let them make their day. Those who do nothing but bring you down...

Magic

Remember when magic was the only thing that mattered? When we all believed in fairy dust and underwater wonder lands? When the flaming balls of gas in the sky were nothing but sparkling stars, and animals would really speak whenever we turned our backs to them?

Our vision was blurred by a sheet of glitter and things, a lens for us to see the world through - distorting reality into a happier, more magical place.

Where did the magic go?

Why did the magic have to disappear?

x

A brand new word.

If I loved him any more than I do now, I'd have to find a brand new word to describe this feeling.

ps. is that picture not absolutely magical? its from here (my latest site-obsession)

So much

I wish I could be so much. I may have said this before, but lately I've been wishing it more.

I wish I could be a painter - using delicate brushstrokes or messy splotches to create meaningful, beautiful images.

I wish I could be a "drawer" - not the kind you put your clothes in, but the kind that can't put their pencils down for a second.

I wish I could be a writer - actually creating novels out of the story ideas I constantly come up with.

I wish I could be a poet - putting together simple and eloquent words into something magical.

I wish I could be a dancer - moving every inch of my body to the wonderful music that surrounds us everyday.

I wish I could be an actress - stunning audiences with the realistic emotions I could convey.

I wish I could be a musician - to finally learn to play the guitar I've owned for a few too many years.

I wish I could be a singer - enchanting people with a rich, genuine voice that I don't actually have.

I wish it were possible to be all these things and more,

I wish it so much.

picture from here

One

photo (c) Katia 2009

It takes one.

One glance from a cute boy to make a teenage girl think he's interested.
One hello to make her think they're getting to know each other,
One touch on the arm to make this girl think he likes her.
It takes one night to make her think she's in love,
and one date to make her believe it with all of her heart.
One bouquet of roses to make her think she's got the best,
One "I love you" to make her think she's set for life.
And sometimes, she's right.



But sometimes,
it takes one glare from this boy to make her think there's something wrong,
One goodbye to make her think they're falling apart,
One moment of having an empty hand to make this girl think he doesn't like her anymore.
It takes one night to make her think she's falling out of love,
it takes one fight to make her believe it with all of her heart.
One slammed door to make her think she's got the worst,
One "I can't do this" to make her think it's over, so over.
And sometimes, she's right.

**Aside from the first half, this has nothing to do with my real life situation right now - just saying, just in case :)

Habits

I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately - it's been my birthday weekend as well as my sister's and so it's been quite hectic! But here I am!

Last night, I watched the french movie "Amélie", I believe it's also quite well known here too though. This movie really got me thinking about the little details of life, the habits and little things we all do. Each of us has our own special quirk, a small action or thought that is reoccuring and often go by unnoticed. Whether it be like Amélie - who enjoys the sensation of dipping her hand into a sack of tiny beans, or like her neighbour - who recreates the same painting over and over again. When you have your eyes open to these sorts of things, they are easy to spot. For exmaple, the lady that often comes onto the same bus as I'm on, who goes straight to the back and asks people to give up their seats every single time. There's also the boy who, unintentionally - is in the background of every single picture taken at a party. And then there's my sister, whenever she gets her hands on my camera, she takes a close up, upside down shot of her eye. These are things that are easy to notice when you allow yourself to observe.

But the most interesting habits, are the ones you can find in yourself. I for one, have noticed that every single night, before going to bed, I put my flowery ring, my cell phone, and my ipod onto the side table - and they're in the same spot each time. Another habit of mine is to leave every candy in a package except one - there's still one ferrero rocher in very center of the box on my desk. Also, while every one else on the bus is listening to their ipods or reading their books, I am busy observing what's going on around me. Whether this makes me simply observant or creepish, I'm still not sure.
So tell me, what are your interesting quirks or habits?

♥

"DBC"

This weekend, I went through DBC in NYC.
DBC is a thing I like to call - Dancing Boot Camp
Except, it didn't happen in NYC - but in Massachusetts, it just sounded much cooler to say DBC and NYC together.
I'm sure you're scratching your heads a tinsy bit right about now, and if not, then I've sure you've got it at least half wrong. I was on a school trip to New York city and Massachusetts, to perform in a SHOW CHOIR festival!
In case you don't know, show choir is a group of people who sing, then dance to the music they're singing. Think Glee!
Thing is, my school's show choir is the only one in all of Ontario! Unfortunately, that means that it's not taken very seriously - and many of our members think it's a joke. Which means, that when we performed and took place in the learning of a song and dance in two days, boot camp style, we were all quite taken aback by the seriousness of the event.
I even compared the two days to the 9 day canoe trip I did this summer - just without the bugs and the mud! Why? Because you're pushed past your limit physically and mentally, you want nothing more than to just give up, go home, and sleep in your own bed. But you can't. You HAVE to go through it, there is literally no way out. Unless you hurt yourself, but thankfully that's not something many of us have the guts to do on purpose, and nobody did by accident either!
Either way, it turns out to be a fantastic experience, despite the hardships and the fact that I don't think I will ever want to do it again. Oh well.
New York on the other hand, that was great! We got to see a Broadway musical called "In the Heights" which was really well done, and I went (with my mandatory group of four,) to a restaurant called "Stardust" in Times Square where the waitresses and waiters sing songs. Being a highly musical group, of course we all sang along. It was magical.

NYC

New York City is a place I have always been curious about. I've been told it's an american version of Paris, France - by someone who came from Paris! Unfortunately, I have never been able to visit this city...

But that's all about to change.

7 things about myself

I have been tagged!!
My very first blog tag, it's quite exciting! I feel so... initiated into the blogging world, so thank you Janice! Ahaha, well I think this should lead straight into my number one fact.
(The idea is that you write 7 things about you, and then tag 7 other bloggers)

1. My excitement levels go up quite easily, especially on bright sunny days where it feels nearly impossible to be down.

2. I wish I could be so many things when I grow up; an author, a photographer, a journalist, an illustrator, an actress, a super star fashion designer, a teacher, an art therapist, and sometimes I even think being a lawyer would be cool. Too bad I can only really choose one...

3. Contrary to the more common commitment issues, my commitment to PEOPLE is phenomenal (not to brag of course,) but my commitment to projects, school clubs, after school activities, etc, is downright awful. I'm doing better this year though, much better.

4. Lately I have come to believe that my heart is a camera, and that I am born a photographer, because I've been seeing potential photographs every where I look, resulting in a camera full of photos, most of which disappoint me anyway.

5. Music is magic to me. There are some songs that can bring me right into their little worlds, complete with colours and movement and feelings. I love those songs.

6. I'm dying to grow up, but at the same time I'm a two year old at heart. I wish I could still enjoy playing pretend, and enjoy avoiding the lakes of lava that overcome my basement as I hop from chair to wood block to sofa to get away from it. I was a lion back then, and sometimes a panda or a deer even.

7. I live in my very own, twisted, fairy tale. My imagination is strange, I find the image of a girl with deer antlers so beautiful, and the woman with an elephant's head enticing. Sometimes I feel this makes me weird, and that when people see my drawings they'll find me weird. But I love it, and so far no one has found me weird enough to stop talking to me, so I must be doing something right!


So, I don't know who to tag, because I don't think I know seven bloggers yet, but I'll find seven eventually, and post them here :)

♥

photo taken and (c) by me, Katia.

Days

Days like yesterday, are days you want to forget - Days where everything is up in the air, and all you want to do is sleep the day away, because sleep is the easiest way to get through to tommorrow. These are days where you fight with those you love, and argue with anyone you're not already fighting . These are not good days.

Days like today, are days you never want to end - Days where your wildest dreams come true, and you feel as though you're a character straight out of a romance novel. These are days where things that you thought could only happen in stories happen, things like being brought to a hill by your special someone to watch the sun set, and like wearing his sweater after he's taken it off and offered it to you, as he sits and shivers in his thin blue tshirt. I love these days.

Days like tommorrow, are days you don't want to come - Days where you don't know what will happen, and you want to know so badly. You have so much to do, but no clue where to start. And you just hope that you could re-live today instead of living tommorrow. These days are stressfull.



I realize that my posts have been negative for a bit, especially that they have ended with "I dont like this", or a variation of that. I think my blogging habits are already starting to form....

Observations of the Day

sometimes, the thing you want last comes in first,

and sometimes, the thing you want first never comes.

Things I realized/observed today:

- Today on the bus, there was a boy who blinked. I saw a single freckle on his eye-lid. I was intrigued, and continued to watch him blink for a while, just to see the freckle.

- Potential photos are everywhere, especially when it's nearing 5 o'clock these days.

- Change can really, really, REALLY suck.

I'm having a difficult day. One second I'm loving life, the next I'm cursing it. I hung out with loads of my friends today, but that thing I really don't want to happen? It's truly taken it's first step now. It was his turn to have his last day in his house. This makes me sad for him and for me at the same time. I don't like this.

photo taken and (c) by me, Katia.

A Day for Scary Things

Halloween is the day when everything scary comes out from hiding.
No, I was not scared by the five year olds running around with fake blood dripping down their faces, or the pre-teens wearing gruesome masks.
I was scared by the validation that today held of some changes that are coming up faster than I want. He's leaving. And today was the last time I'll ever be in his house, his room, as he's not staying there for his last months here.
I don't want him to go.
And unfortunately, despite having spent the day with him, and him giving me some things he didn't want to bring with him when he moves(*cough*rollercoastertycoonforpc!!*cough*), the scared feeling that this is just one more step in the process is lingering with me, and I doubt it'll leave soon.
I always cling to my emotions too long, just as I cling to old candy wrappers - claiming that I will one day make art out of them. Maybe I'm a touch too nostalgic, either way I'm scared. And I don't like that.

photo taken and (c) by me, Katia.

My World

If my mind were it's own little world, it'd have a never ending summer warmth. The sun would set into a sea of colours every time, and the fireflies would create sparkles across the open air, mixing in with the stars. There would be an open field of gold with one strong mighty tree in the middle. It'd have branches for us to climb up on and stare off at the impossible lengths of land around us. During the hours of the day, the sky would have the perfect sprinkling of clouds here and there, while maintaining a sunny blue, no matter what. It would never rain or storm in rage. We'd have a beach at a walking distance away, with the ocean crashing against the sandy shore for you and I only. Ladybugs would dance with the butterflies around the nearby patch of poppies and petals of every colour imaginable. The grass would be soft and dirt free, so as to not ruin my pretty, girly dress as I lay on the ground next to you. I'd have your hand in mine, as the sun beams down on our faces. I'd smile at you with my biggest smile, because I'd finally have you with me forever.
If only,
if only,
my world were like this,
because only then,
would it be perfect.

Dear Toronto.

Dear Toronto.

Usually, I harbor a deep hatred for your concrete walls and littered streets. Your city sounds of honking cars and speeding busses scratch and squiggle their way into my mind as the cold Canadian winter takes over. I can feel your wind sweep it's way to the center of my body. How unoriginal of you. I'm far from the only one who has experienced the cold shiver that you force into our bones that freezes our insides.

Usually, you are last place I want to be.

But tonight I am forced to look at you with out judgemental eyes, and I managed to catch a glimpse of your silver lining. My reason? A photography project. And so I have to thank you Toronto, for giving me an 80.

Sincerely,

Katia

Public Transit

Her name was Meagan.
She wore black leather gloves, the kind that my grandmother wears. Her coat was cherry red, and her bangs poofed back elegantly.
She sat in the corner of the bus with her hands placed gently in her lap right beside her purse. She had the type of face that, while unanimated, was nearly boring. Pretty, but boring.
A man came on the bus, his smile complete with golden caps. He took a seat next to her. His clothes were dirty, and his smell wasn't the cleanest I've ever been exposed to.
He struck up a conversation with her. She smiled, politely I assumed, and gave a quick reply. And then they continued to chat, her smile began to get warmer, and he seemed glad to speak to a pretty lady, as I'm sure they would hardly give him a chance usually. In this society they'd call him creepy.
She would speak to him while looking him in the eye, and he'd look right back. It was strange, I admired her courage - as I'd expected her to stare out the window and ignore him to the best of her ability. I saw them shake hands, and he asked her to repeat her name, she said Meagan. He smiled again.